She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Come share oat with me in your robe
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
