he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
