SEEEEXXX PLEASE
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
