we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
