i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
