My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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