PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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