Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
What a dumb baby whore.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
