How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
