we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
