Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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