I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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