I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
