Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Panties = found
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
