im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Life is so much better after having sex.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
