Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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