like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
