we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
