i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
