You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
