I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How does one acquire holy water?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
