I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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