We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
