I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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