Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
