God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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