I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Screwed.edu
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
