Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
