apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
