i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
