Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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