After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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