I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
