He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
