well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
