Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
