Sry I called you an 8
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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