All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
