The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
