The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
