I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
