youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
