4 words: hood of his car
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This is the high leading the old right now
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
