She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
