Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
