i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
