Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
