12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
