in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
3 2 1 whiskey
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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