But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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