guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
