I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
