Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
